Daniel Perlman
Anita L. Vangelisti
In a classic series of studies, Reed Larson and his colleagues (Larson, Csikszentmihalyi, & Graef, 1982) had 179 teenagers and adults carry electronic pagers with them wherever they went for 1 week. Once every 2 hours of their waking day, Larson beeped these individuals, asking them to indicate what they were doing and who, if anyone, was with them. More than 70% of the times they were paged, these individuals were in the presence of other people. Worked out over the course of a lifetime, from age 18 to 65, this means people are likely to spend 203,585 hours in the presence of others. As far back as Aristotle, humans have been recognized as social animals. Obviously, personal relationships are a salient and important aspect of our lives.
What precisely do we mean when we refer to personal relationships? Two classic definitions that specify the domain of this volume are as follows:
Two people are in a relationship with one another if they impact on each other, if they are interdependent in the sense that a change in one person causes a change in the other and vice versa. (Kelley et al., 1983)
A relationship involves a series of interactions between two individuals known to each other. Relationships involve behavioural, cognitive, and affective (or emotional) aspects. Formal relationships are distinct from personal relationships. Relationships in which most of the behaviour of the participants is determined by their position in society, where they do not rely on knowledge of each other, are role or formal relationships. (Hinde, 1979)
Personal relationships, in short, have a holistic quality. They are more than isolated interactive moments. They are more than highly scripted role-relations. Personal relationships include a range of relationships, including, but not exclusive to our most intimate relationships.
There are several reasons why personal relationships are important and why they are studied. When people are asked about what makes their lives meaningful, what contributes to their happiness, and what they value, they frequently identify close relationships. People have a pervasive, nearly universal need to belong (Baumeister & Leary, 1995). Research suggests that we are eager to form new bonds but dislike breaking them. Similarly, we devote considerable cognitive processing to interpersonal interactions and relationships (Fletcher, Overall, & Friesen, this volume). Finally, relationships are a key to our well-being. A plethora of evidence shows that close relationships are indeed vital to various indicators of well-being, including happiness, mental health, physical health, and even longevity (Berkman, 1995; Myers, 1999). As the slogan for a California public service program proclaims, “friends are good medicine.” Undoubtedly, there are exceptions to these generalizations, and it is difficult to know for sure whether relationships are the cause of these outcomes. Nonetheless, the association of sociability with well-being cuts across time, cultures, measures of sociability, and indicators of well-being, and the association is a statistically strong one (Sarason & Sarason, ch. 23, this volume). In the health domain, cigarette smoking is one of the most widely studied and clearest hazards to health and longevity. Research demonstrates that sociability has as strong, probably even a stronger, association with well-being than does smoking. Stop smoking and have successful friendships: You’ll live a long, happy life. Indeed one can argue that without relationships and social groups, humans would not be able to reproduce and survive (Reis, Collins, & Bersheid, 2000). The advances humans have made depend heavily on collective action.
Of course, relationships are not always positive experiences. There is a dark side to close relationships (Cupach & Spitzberg, 1994; Spitzberg & Cupach, 1998). Personal relationships can serve as a context for a variety of negative emotions, including jealousy (Guerrero & Anderson, 1998) and hurt (Leary, Springer, Negel, Ansell, & Evans, 1998). Furthermore, people can experience psychological (Straus & Field, 2003) or physical abuse (Johnson, this volume) at the hands of a loved one. Yet even when problematic, relationships are significant to us.
General Description
Because relationships are so central to people’s lives, they have garnered the attention of researchers and theorists from a number of disciplines. Indeed, scholars have devoted a great deal of time and effort to understanding the antecedents, processes, and outcomes of close, interpersonal relationships.
The purpose of the Handbook of Personal Relationships is to present a synthesis of cutting-edge research and theory. This book integrates the varying perspectives and issues addressed by those who study how people relate to one another. To capture the breadth and depth of the literature in this area, the work of scholars from a variety of disciplines – including several subfields of psychology (e.g., social, developmental, personality, clinical), communication, family studies, and sociology – is highlighted.
The first section of the book comprises the current introduction. Following this editorial introduction, the second section offers a foundation for studying personal relationships. The history of the field is examined, as are the theories most frequently employed by researchers to explain processes associated with the development, maintenance, and decline of personal relationships. In this section of the book, there is an emphasis on introducing and comparing dominant theories (e.g., social exchange, attachment, evolutionary); the role of various theories in generating research is noted throughout the volume. Both qualitative and quantitative methods are discussed in terms of their unique applications and contributions to the relevant literature. In addition, the second section illuminates the ways relationships have been divided into types. The concerns raised in this section provide a foundation for examining personal relationships because they set the baseline for the ways that researchers observe, explain, and evaluate relationships.
The third section focuses on research and theory explicating the development of personal relationships, from when people meet until when relationships end. Chapters focus on issues such as courtship, marriage, and divorce. Although the developmental course of relationships may be viewed as somewhat linear, much of the research covered in this section points to the complex, multifaceted nature of relationship development.
The fourth section focuses on relationships across the life span. The nature and functions of relationships vary depending, in part, on the age of relational partners. Children have different ways of relating and they develop relationships for different reasons than do adolescents or adults. People dealing with the tasks of middle age maintain different sorts of relationships than do the elderly. Chapters in this section describe some of the special concerns reflected in personal relationships in various life stages.
In the fifth section, individual differences that influence personal relationships are examined. People approach and enter relationships with some relatively stable characteristics. Whether those characteristics involve personality traits, attachment styles, biological sex, sexual orientations, or mental health, they affect the developmental course of people’s relationships. The material covered in this section describes the effects of individual differences on personal relationships.
The sixth and seventh sections present relationship processes. In the sixth section, communication, cognition, emotion, and psychophysiology are discussed. These are fundamental processes that influence, and are influenced by, relationships as well as other arenas of life. The seventh section deals with processes that involve interpersonal interaction. These include disclosure, social support, conflict, and sexual behavior.
Over the past dozen years, researchers have focused attention on the problematic aspects of personal relationships. People involved in close relationships experience stress because of circumstances that occur outside their relationship as well as events inside the relationship that the partners themselves instigate. Relational partners sometimes feel jealous or lonely. They often lie to each other. They may engage in extradyadic liaisons and may even physically or psychologically abuse each other. Some relational threats are common and their successful navigation actually may add to partners’ confidence in their union. Other threats not only damage the relationship, they may jeopardize the physical and psychological well-being of one or both partners. The eighth section of the Handbook covers several of the more widely studied threats to personal relationships.
The ninth section examines the major qualities that suggest how well relationships are doing. The study of relational satisfaction began in the 1920s and more recently has been augmented by investigations of love, commitment, and intimacy. This section addresses the antecedents and dynamics associated with these phenomena as well as the challenges that researchers face as they attempt to conceptualize and operationalize the qualities of personal relationships.
Of course, relationships do not happen in a vacuum. They are influenced by physical, social, and cultural contexts. The tenth section deals with some of the factors outside individuals and relationships that affect the bonds between partners. This section includes classic (e.g., social networks) as well as leading-edge topics (e.g., computer-mediated relationships).
Although the focus of much of the research deals with the initiation and establishment of relationships, relationships actually persist for a long time, sometimes with problems. The final section of the volume covers how people sustain their relationships over time and how therapists can intervene to repair problematic relationships.
To ensure consistency across the volume in terms of scope and coverage, authors were guided in the following ways. First and foremost, they were asked to provide an integrative synthesis of existing theory and research, featuring classic and cutting-edge references where appropriate. Authors were encouraged to provide an historical or conceptual framework for organizing the literature and to make note of any important conceptual shifts. Second, they were instructed to comment on basic paradigms and research issues and to evaluate critically the area’s methods. Third, authors were asked to provide judicious coverage of, and endeavor to resolve, any conflicts in the literature. Fourth, although this volume is primarily retrospective, authors were asked to signal directions for future research.
Authors
The individuals who contributed to the Handbook were selected as authors because they are recognized for the outstanding theoretical and empirical contributions they have made to the study of personal relationships. The contributors, in short, are distinguished, internationally known scholars. They herald from a variety of disciplines and approach personal relationships from a number of perspectives. They focus on topics ranging from the beginning to the ending of relationships, from micro to macro forces, and from the problematic to the sublime. Readers will find that the authors are adroit at expressing themselves in a scholarly yet readable fashion
Audience
Because the contributors offer sophisticated, new perspectives on extant literature as well as important theoretical and methodological recommendations for future research, the Handbook is an important volume for individual researchers and theorists to have on their shelves. Graduate students in social psychology, communication, family studies, sociology, and clinical psychology also will need to know the material published in this book. They may use the volume as a text in one of their courses or as an advanced introduction to the study of close relationships. Additionally, practitioners will be served by the volume. They will find that the theory and research presented provides a foundation for understanding relationships seminal to their therapeutic work with individuals confronting relationship issues, couples, and families.
Readers who are familiar with the literature on personal relationship will note that the current volume is one of three published in the last decade that summarizes research on personal relationships. In part, this is because of the speed with which the field has advanced. One of the other two books, also titled the Handbook of Personal Relationships, was edited by Steve Duck (1997) and published by Wiley. The other, Close Relationships: A Sourcebook, was edited by Clyde Hendrick and Susan S. Hendrick (2000) and was published by Sage. Both of these volumes serve as benchmarks for the field. The Duck Handbook conceives of the field of personal relationships as relatively new, and, as a consequence, its chapters provide researchers with compelling directions for future study. The Hendrick and Hendrick Sourcebook offers what they term a “panoramic view of close relationships research” (p. xxii); it provides an important overview of the literature. The current Handbook was conceived as a complement and an update to both of the prior volumes. It characterizes the field as relatively mature and highlights the established body of theory and research that has been generated over the past 3 decades. It offers readers a relatively detailed, sophisticated synthesis of existing literature. It is our hope that the insights and commentaries offered by the authors in Handbook of Personal Relationships will do as much to generate research and to advance the field as did the prior two volumes.
We believe social-science knowledge is best when it can be given away. If this volume is to succeed, it must engage you and leave you, the reader, wiser. Whether it is for your personal life, a course, your professional practice, or for conducting the next generation of research, the chapters should leave you better informed about, and with better tools for understanding, close relationships. We hope that you will develop an intimate relation with the contributors’ ideas and join with us in helping to disseminate, apply, or empirically advance their wisdom.
Acknowledgments
We are indebted to many people for the important contributions they have made to this volume. This project came to fruition because of the work of a group of outstanding authors. The time, expertise, and careful thought that the authors willingly dedicated to writing chapters made this Handbook possible. We also are grateful to our editor, Philip Laughlin, who had the vision for this project. His willingness to respond to what must have seemed like an infinite number of questions, his patience, and his sense of humor made our work a pleasure.
To our universities we owe a debt of gratitude for their good libraries, for their computer systems, and for providing an environment that facilitates productivity. The project was started when Dan spent a very pleasant semester as a sabbatical visitor with the University of Texas Human Development and Family Sciences program. We also want to thank low-cost long-distance calling services for allowing us to work together on the phone for long periods without concern about telephone bills.
Being editors of a book about relationships, we are especially sensitive to how relationships enhance our lives and how there are trade-offs between work and family. We would like to thank our partners, John Daly and Lorrie Brubacher, for their support and understanding during the 3-year journey that the book has required. We also thank Abigail for reminding us, as young children will do, that relationships should come first.
References
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